It’s Ok to Be Afraid of the Unknown
Even the brightest individuals experience the darkest moments in their journey through life. Not knowing what’s ahead can leave us apprehensive in taking steps forward into the next chapter of our lives. But as long as the story doesn’t end, right? We can continue moving forward and establish our footprint through time. The ending, whether in light or darkness, is still impactful for legacy. So turn the page and enter that new chapter because fear is in fact temporary, like life itself.
Several years ago, I was at a crossroads with what career I wanted to fully submerge myself in. On one half of the clock, I was writing music full time while dipping into the proverbial lifestyle of a street pharmacist. Being an up-and-coming rapper doesn’t pay the bills, considering I was already ten years in the game, I was surviving off marijuana bags sold in fractional servings. On the other half of the clock, I was coaching youth basketball at my alma mater.
I couldn’t do both. It was unfair to music and it was unfair to basketball. I always told myself that once I lost the passion to write music, I was going to step down. This was that moment. It was a change that impacted more than myself. I was afraid to lose all the strong relationships I fostered with song writers, producers, photographers, cinematographers, and journalists. It was imperative that I contacted specific individuals, not only to let them know that I was moving away from music, but that I also wanted to maintain friendships while I embarked into a career in sports. To me, that was more important than all the hours we put into me pursuing a music career in hip-hop.
The significant move from music to sports was all but simple. I love the game of basketball just as much as I love music, but coaching was somewhat a foreign exchange. As a high school basketball player, I didn’t play much, but I was intrigued by the X’s and O’s. I studied the game and analyzed my coaches in how they managed a team. I brought what I learned from the hardwood in high school into the coaching realm and was able to be somewhat successful in coaching. The most important variable to me was building a culture that entrusted myself and my staff the opportunity to help these kids not only understand and play the game of basketball the right way, but to also lead them to the next level. College hoops. It was a lonely transition. I came alone into this world of basketball leadership but that only fueled me to become the best that I could in leading a group of girls through an experience that will ultimately change their lives for the better. As I approach the exit, I’m elated for the relationships I’ve built and can say that I will not leave this chapter alone.
Life is… interesting. Yet again I find myself in transition and turning a page half-filled with words. Everyone likes to reach a new chapter in the book that they’re reading — I’m learning to embrace them as they come in life. In this cycle, the hands of time move forward into a realm of refined knowledge, purpose, certitude, and love. I have no fear in this space. I’m sure of the direction I’m going and the road blocks that lie ahead are merely waist high. Yes, there will be times of hardship, imposter syndrome, self-doubt, tragedy, misfortunes, and passings. However, the story you decide to write is triumphed by how you respond. Each one of us can easily be blanketed by negative entities that weigh us down from taking flight into prosperity. Let your wings let you fly! There is nothing too strong for us to handle. Turn the page and embrace the blank canvas for you to write the rest of your story.
As far as we know it, we’re all experiencing life for the first time. There’s no handbook, or instructional guide, or GameShark (shouts to my 90’s kids) that will hold your hand through life. We have to live in the moment and understand that our journey will swell like the waves in the ocean. It’s a constant movement of ups and downs that everyone in life is forced to contend with. The key to the movement is to contend with the forces. Lace up your boxing gloves and step in the ring.
I hope that all of you who read this piece find the strength to move forward in your endeavors. Although life wasn’t meant to be easy, it was meant to be experienced in all of its capacity. You will come across moments where you won’t understand how to navigate through its roads. You will find moments in which you don’t want to leave its love. There will be times where life changes its course for you, and what you thought was an easy ride down the Pacific Coast Highway is now an exasperating drive down New York City’s Van Wyck Expressway. And there will be times where you’ll be faced with a darker tunnel than the one you are already in; where fear will cultivate in your soul and you will be paralyzed at its junction, being left alone in a world you don’t understand. Just remember, this is all part of the human experience. Lay still, stare into the darkness and allow your eyes to adjust. Analyze your surroundings. Although what you may see around you are those who are in their better stages of life, don’t compare. It’s ok to be in the state that you’re in. It’s ok to be lost for a moment. It’s ok to lose your sense of direction. It’s ok to be afraid of the unknown.
